Three Common Ways Relationship Trauma Shows Up
Exploring Three Common Types of Relationship Trauma and the Reasons for Your Reactions
Trauma Related to Self-Worth, Self-Doubt, and People-Pleasing
Who this is for:
Adults who are tough on themselves, feel responsible for how others feel, and have trouble speaking up or putting their needs first in relationships.
Common experiences:
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Feeling like you’re “not enough” or need to be perfect to be worthy.
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Minimizing your own pain or telling yourself you should be "over it" by now.
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Guilt when saying "no" or prioritizing your own needs.
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Fear that being honest or assertive will push people away.
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Keeping things to yourself so you aren't a burden to someone else.
How trauma shows up:
These patterns often start from early or repeated relationship trauma. This happens when your needs, feelings, or boundaries weren’t respected. EMDR helps process these experiences. This way, it stops linking self-advocacy with danger.
Therapy outcomes:
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Putting yourself first, without guilt or shame.
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Speaking up with confidence and clarity.
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Feeling a sense of worth and emotional fulfillment, not just intellectual validation.
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Stronger boundaries that don’t cost you your relationships.
Trauma Related to Fear of Abandonment, Attachment, and Emotional Safety
Who this is for:
Adults who feel anxious in relationships, form attachments quickly, or often worry about being left, rejected, or forgotten.
Common experiences:
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Anxiety when you don’t hear back from someone.
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Fear that people will abandon you once they truly understand who you are.
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Experiencing discomfort or fear in situations when emotionally close to others.
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Staying in unhealthy relationships to avoid being alone.
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Feeling lost or unsure of who you are outside of relationships.
How trauma shows up:
Past relational trauma can make you stay on alert for abandonment. EMDR and trauma-focused therapy help build a sense of safety. This way, closeness doesn't feel threatening anymore.
Therapy outcomes:
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Feeling secure even when others are distant or upset.
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Comfort in being yourself inside and outside of relationships.
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Trusting that you’ll be okay even if a relationship ends.
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A stronger, clearer sense of who you are and what you want.
Trauma Related to Past Harmful or Abusive Relationships
Who this is for:
Adults who feel trapped by the emotional fallout of a hurtful or abusive relationship. They worry that they may never fully heal or move on.
Common experiences:
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Feeling guarded or emotionally shut down to prevent further emotional pain.
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Anger, resentment, or emotional reactivity tied to betrayal or abuse.
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Feeling trapped in memories of the past.
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Believing the relationship changed permanently or “broke” you.
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Difficulty trusting yourself or others again.
How trauma shows up:
Relationship trauma, like abusive or manipulative behavior, can trap you in survival mode (also known as "fight or flight"). EMDR helps you process the memories. This makes them less intense and stops them from interfering with your life.
Therapy outcomes:
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Letting go of the past without erasing what happened.
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Feeling calm and grounded instead of on edge.
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Experiencing anger or sadness without it consuming you.
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Moving forward with your life with clarity, confidence, and hope.
You Don't Have to Carry This Alone
If any of this sounds like it applies to you, support is available. Take advantage of a free 15-minute consultation. You can ask questions and share your experiences. This is a chance to see if trauma-focused therapy or EMDR is right for you without any pressure or obligation.